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Face of Fiction – Oscar Wilde

womans-face-wilde

“A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.” ~Oscar Wilde

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Cross-Eyed Duck Face

Cross-Eyed Duck Face

Cross-Eyed Duck Face

Does she think this is sexy? I mean, isn’t that what these girls are going for when they purse their lips to create the hideous facial expression now known, every so lovingly, as the duck face? This is NOT pretty. She looks like an insane, cross-eyed serial killer. This is the look some poor schmuck is going to see just as she reaches down to cut off his penis.

Maybe I’m wrong. Perhaps I’m being to harsh. So, instead hurling further criticism, I’m going to digress and no longer punish this obvious stroke victim.

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Extreme Duck Face!

Extreme Duck Face

Extreme Duck Face

If this Asian cutie pushes her lips out any further, something is going to give. Also, if she keeps this activity up, her mouth is going to have wrinkles around it that make everyone think she spent her youth giving $10 BJ’s in dark alleys.

I mean, sure, it’s a very kissable duck face, but only because she’s so damn cute. On a lot of chicks, this pouty puss would look pathetic.

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Dueling Duck Faces

Dueling Duck Faces

Okay, so we have a photo of a pair of slender teen babes, both doing a pretty typical duck face. I have no issue with that. But what’s with the mouse ears? Sure, it’s cute and all, but I prefer a tasteful French maid┬ácostume┬áto mouse ears any day. Also, they both have exposed bra straps. Here’s my suggestion as a fashion expert: if your strap is going to show, lose the bra. Who’s with me?

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Pretty Asian Girl Making Kissy Lips

Duck Face Asian BabeI know what you are all thinking – why doesn’t this bathroom have a toilet paper holder? I mean, what kind of heathen leaves the toilet paper on the floor next to the toilet? Obviously she mustn’t have a boyfriend or any other men around because having the TP in that close proximity of the bowl would be a mistake, if you know what I mean, especially after 2 or 20 beers.

Despite the horrible placement of the toiletries, she’s a beautiful girl and I, for one, am grateful for this self shot photo of her and her puckered kissy lips.

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Mustachieod Duck Face

Mustachieod Duck Face

Of course this girl doesn’t have a mustache. She might grow one someday, but she appears to be doing a fairly good job of keeping her lip jungle down for now. The shadows and excess makeup filling in the wrinkles of her puckered puss, however, do give her a faint mustache at first glance.

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Look – I Have Hair!

I Have Hair

Why the hell is this duck faced-cutie holding her hair like that? Am I the only one bothered by such things? Maybe so. But that’s not the most distracting element of this self-shot pic. No, the most distracting feature is the unopened bottle of beer in the lower right corner. Who does that? I mean, why bring an unopened bottle of brewsky into the bathroom? In my little fantasy world, there is another bottle she’s drinking from just out of the shot. So, she brought the second bottle with her because her daily preening takes so long that only one bottle of beer would certainly not suffice. After all, when you feel compelled to take photos of yourself in the bathroom mirror, you probably have some fairly powerful demons you need to keep drowned in alcohol.

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Self Shot Duck Face

Self Shot Duck Face

With better lighting and a bikini top, maybe this pic would work for me. After all, this Asian cutie has beautiful full lips that work well for a duck face photo.

This is what bothers me – if I can see your phone, then you are obviously taken the photo in the mirror. No problem, it’s a typical self shot pic. But it looks like she’s holding her camera two inches from the mirror. Is that necessary? I want more YOU and less camera. And by “more you” I, of course, mean you in a bikini.

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The Least Sexy Duck Face

Least Sexy Duck Face

In reality, this babe intentionally made this perversely exaggerated duck face for the photo, perhaps feeling as we do, that the duck face is ridiculous. However, I am no fan of reality. So, in my world, she thinks that she’s very sexy. She believes that we all find wrinkled chins, crossed eyes, and pushed-out lips to be the hottest looks ever. And maybe someone does, is some altered universe.

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